Grand Canyon South Rim Vacation -- Things To Do

Things We Didn't Do

This is a list of things you can do when visiting Northern Arizona or near the South Rim of the Grand Canyon.  They looked interesting, but we just ran out of time.  So, I'm saving this list for another trip or for your reference.

1. The Grand Canyon Deer Farm, a petting zoo & gift shop in Williams, AZ.  For more info, call (928) 635-4073 or www.deerfarm.com
2. Bearizona, a drive-thru wild animal park in Williams, AZ.  For more info, www.bearizona.com
3. Walnut Canyon National Monument, near Flagstaff, AZ.  For more info, http://www.nps.gov/waca/index.htm
4. Montezuma Well, part of Montezuma Castle National Monument in Camp Verde, AZ.  For more info, http://www.nps.gov/moca/montezuma-well.htm
5. Tuzigoot National Monument, near Clarkdale, AZ.  For more info, http://www.nps.gov/tuzi/index.htm

Things We Did Do

1. Route 66 Zipline Ride, high flying family adventure over Williams, AZ.  Price is $12 per person, buy 3 or more and Mom rides free.  Must be about 4' tall to ride.  Weight limit is 450 lbs per pair of riders.  Hotels currently have coupons for $2 off per ticket.
2. Grand Canyon Railway
3. Grand Canyon Village Historic District
4. 
   

The Real World

The world, doctors, scientists, etc. criticize parents for letting their kids watch too much TV.  Well, tonight I paused the TV to coordinate 4th of July plans via Facebook with a friend who's phone has been stolen and via cell phone with my husband.  In the meantime, I directed my children (now 6.5 and 3 yrs. old) to get their pajamas on and brush their teeth.  Obviously, they don't have my full attention, but this is reality folks.  Mom is often trying to do three things at once.

Here's what happens when you turn off the TV for 30 minutes:

1. one child argues that they don't want to brush their teeth
2. another child refuses to close the curtain on the front window while you sit in your pajamas
3. Mom yells at the top of her lungs because she is trying to accomplish three things at once and neither child is listening -- and should be quite capable of completing the tasks as requested before the 2nd Coming
4. rough housing causes the female child to break the male child's plastic sunglasses, causing tears in both parties
5. he tells her she is never going to get any new sunglasses ever again as punishment, causing tears in the female child
6. rough housing causes her to hit her head on the wall, again causing tears
7. hugs all around
8. Mom finishes "coordinating" between the two men on phone & Facebook
9. he brings his Leapster into the bathroom "paused" so he can brush his teeth, Mom moves it out and reminds them electronics and water don't mix -- and there is a strict "no non-bath toys" in the bathroom policy
10. female child is SHOWN how to squeeze toothpaste from the tube after claiming she can't do it
11. female child walks by said Leapster and turns it off, causing tears in male child
12. female child after apologizing, then decides to hop like a bunny while squeezing between the door and the male child, ends up hitting the male child on the chin with her hard head, causing tears in BOTH parties, and a bloody nose in the male child
13. hugs all around
14. teeth somehow get brushed
15. both children disappear while Mom cleans toothpaste off the sink (husband has complained abt said issue recently), and suddenly there's crying heard from the other room
16. post-interrogation reports indicate male child hit female child, but only after she poked him in the eye
17. Mom lectures male child on not hitting, lectures female child about LEAVING HER BROTHER ALONE after multiple incidents this evening
18. Bedtime prayers are skipped, Mom considers this a "risk reduction decision"
19. after Mom told him to put the Leapster away & there were more tears, she concedes to let him play Leapster in his bed for 10 minutes, because she's had it for one day
20. one bed gets made
21. She's in bed
22. Timer goes off, Mom retrieves Leapster
23. Goodnight

PLEASE, OH PLEASE, I hope the TV never breaks!  Counter to public opinion we have conclusive evidence that it is to the benefit and welfare of the children if they are parked in front of the TV, mesmerized, not moving.  IT IS SIMPLY SAFER FOR EVERYONE.  ;)

P.S. Husband comes home and claims this only happens when he leaves the house.

For My Friends Who Are Losing Their Hearing

Just picked this up from Kaiser ---

Nine Rules To Follow For Family & Friends of Hearing Impaired

1. Try not to speak from another room.
2. Try not to speak with your back to the person with the hearing deficit.
3. Try to speak more slowly.
4. Try to speak distinctly.
5. Try not to speak in competition with other sounds (TV, radio, running water, etc.)
6. Try to get the attention of the person with the hearing deficit before speaking. (Do not start speaking while the person is concentrating on something else.)
7. Try to speak face-to-face.
8. Try to remove obstructions while speaking (hand in front of face, cigarette in mouth, food in mouth, etc.)
9. Remember to be patient ....

Notice that none of these are to yell, shout, and treat them like idiots.  Basically, remember your manners and act like what you have to say is important enough for them to hear.  So, take the time to effectively communicate that information.

On the phone, when people can't hear me, I'm now in the habit of saying, "I'm sorry, my fault, sometimes I speak too fast."

On a funny note, the audiologist told me that my worst hearing is in the same decibel range where most men speak.  (So, maybe I truly have selective hearing.)

Sometimes They Listen

Granny and I finished my daughter's life book earlier this week.  Her life book describes how she was adopted and became a part of our eternal family.  Her book describes Dad and I getting married in the temple, adopting her brother, and having more love for another child.  Then, how she came to us and was sealed in the temple and received a baby blessing.  Granny had a chance to read it to her a couple of times before leaving town, and we've read it to her at least once.

So today, she hasn't been listening, and has been in a little bit of trouble today.  Our family had a fun day, but we were very ready for it to be bedtime tonight.  She gave me a kiss and hug, then started to walk away.
As she did, she put her hand on the bed post and very slowly said, "I was born, so I could go to the temple with you."
"What was that?"
She looks at me with a smile and with more confidence says, "I was born, so I could go to the temple with you.  And you are a princess."
"Come here ...   come here."  As I held her on my lap, "I am very glad you were born."
"Yeah." (with a smile)
"And I think you're pretty wonderful."
"Yeah." (more smiles)
And before she escapes, "And even when I'm angry because you're disobedient, I will ALWAYS love you."
"Can I go now?"
"Yep, go to bed."

They Say the Darndest Things!

So today was jam packed!

1. U6 Soccer Game
2. Family Day at my office -- open house for employees to show their families around
3. Fontana Library -- We have a 1st grade paper, presentation, and poster on the Opossum due November 9th.  What a beautiful library!!!
4. Target -- original intent was birthday present shopping & bike helmets, but also picked up Thanksgiving decor, Halloween on clearance, and some Christmas shirts
5. Shakey's for a little friend's birthday party

Remember, she's now 2.5 years old and he's 6 years old.

In the course of the day,

@1.  She called out, "Mommy, move your bum!!"  (She was sitting in my chair, while I jumped and paced at the edge of the soccer field.)

@1.  I told him he might have to get muddy playing goalie, but don't worry, I brought a change of clothes.  He said, "I'm not watching the mud, I'm watching the ball!!"  GOOD KID.

@2.  She spotted the filtered water faucet, like ours at home.  She exclaimed, "THAT'S FOR BABY FEEDERS!!"

@2.  "Kids, see Mommy's magnet collection?"  Mistake.  Commented to a co-worker, "Notice how I have all of those in just the right spot."  Response, "Yep, and Monday we'll see you putting them all back." .....
          "Hey kids, this is my space!"  .........
                        "Okay, time to go."   ..........    
                                      He says, "But we have to clean up."  Me, "Don't worry I'll do it later."

@2.  He pointed at a picture I took of the ocean, now hanging in my office, "Is that the ocean I almost drowned in?"  "No, you almost drowned in the our bathtub, not in the ocean."

@3.  As the elevator moved, she sighed, "I did it!"  (She's had this issue with elevators.)

@3.  Yesterday, after school we headed to the "LI-BERRY".  He's asleep, she's chattering.  "Is that the li-berry?  Is this the li-berry?  Is that the li-berry?"  "Sweetie, we have a long drive I will show you the library."  Well, the library was closed when we got there.  YOU WOULD HAVE THOUGHT SOMEONE HAD STOLEN HER DOLLY!!!  She REALLY took those locked doors personally.  Glad we made it there today.

@3.  Mom and Dad read childrens' stories to each other while our children played a computer game (its okay, they don't get any at home).  And for the first time, I actually considered buying an iPad for them.

@3.  They have children's restrooms with small kid-size toilets -- THANK YOU (But adult-sized sinks, I still had to sit my 2 yr old on the sink to wash her hands).  My 6 yr old thought the toilets were too small.  He exclaim with disgust, "Why do librarians have to have such small toilets?????"

@3.  "Oooo, that's a scary book."  He was pointing at a book in the children's section titled, Zombies in America.  Great!  Remind me to bring the blindfolds to the library next time.

@4.  Bike helmets.  Well, let's just say that we have now PROVEN that both our children have large heads.

@4.  Which bike helmet does she want?  The kitty.  No, Dora the Explorer.  No, the boys one.  No, the princesses.  NOT the Minnie Mouse one.  I WANT DORA!

@4.  In the gift bag aisle, he says, "Where does this go?  Shouldn't we put it back?"  Mom, "I didn't get it down.  I do not want to clean up the whole store!"  "Okay, but I'm going to put it here, because I WANT to clean up the whole store."  (Unfortunately, this is a result of nurture, not nature.  I have no one to blame but myself.)

@5.  An older, baby-sitting friend offered to take her to play the arcade games.  I said she had to wait.  Man!  I got the lowered eyebrow, "MOTHER!" look.  Fine, go!  Mercy!  I give!  You DID eat more vegetables than your brother.

@5.  She pointed at the drain in the bathroom floor, "There's fishies down there!"

@Home Again. She sees the toy spoon on the floor, and like any good little church lady says, "Oh!  I still have to make that dinner."

Trust in the Lord

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." -- ??
For some reason, I can remember the words clearly for a week but cannot find the exact scriptural reference tonight.

Here it is, Proverbs 3:5:

5 Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
7 Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the Lord, and depart from evil.
8 It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.
9 Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:
10 So shall thy barns be filled with plenty, and thy presses shall burst out with new wine.
11 My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction:
12 For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.
13 Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.

I encourage you to read the full chapter at lds.org: Proverbs 3

Trust in the Lord -- the other day I was thinking of some current struggles and sobbing about this statement.  Its just not that easy.  Four little words make it sound like, "Hey, no sweat, how hard could it be."  And yet, I find myself again and again struggling to trust in the Lord, and not on my own understanding.  And every time it works out I apologize to my Father in Heaven, and like my 2 and 1/2 year old, I say, "I will NEVER EVER do that again." I will NEVER EVER doubt again.  I will NEVER EVER struggle to leap.  I will NEVER EVER lack that faith.  And yet, here I go again.

I also know something else that I tend to forget.  The Lord loves me.  Another four words that don't really accurately portray all that my Father in Heaven and His Son, Jesus Christ, are willing to do for me.  Another four words which my pea-brained mind is only beginning to understand.

So, just how does this apply today?

I know that I am special.  Not special, "I'm better than you" special.  But special -- as in unique, special.  As in God threw away the mold when He was done baking me.  As in, there was no mold because He carved me by hand -- is STILL carving me by hand.  And I believe that each of us is a very unique carving by the hand of God.

I married a man who has been divorced twice.  You should have seen the looks I got -- like I was yet another woman to break his heart, or there must be something wrong with me because he doesn't have good taste.  Let me tell you, it takes a special kind of woman to be a 2nd or 3rd wife.  (And I imagine the same goes for a 2nd or 3rd husband.)  You have to be the type of person who is really good at finding the (sometimes broken) diamond in the rough, willing to take on a long-term project, and be very self-confident in who you are.  It was very humorous to me when everyone in my husband's life assumed who I was or would be.  It didn't take much for me to knock their socks off -- but I'm used to that.  People just don't see the tornado that's about to hit them when they meet me.  ;)

So, how do I make sense of this?  Did I just "get lucky" that he was divorced?  No.  Not by a long shot.  I know that my husband and I knew each other before we were born, and that we were meant to be married.  I know that because of who my husband is, he made choices, and I made choices, and in the end, it all worked out.  And I know that God knew that.  I know that his divorces helped him appreciate me more, and my dating experiences help me appreciate him more.  And I have a feeling, that if it didn't work out, God had a really good back-up plan in mind for me.  ;)  (tongue in cheek)  But even though we both have a testimony of our marriage, it is good for me to occasionally remind him that "he wasn't my only option".

Furthermore, I know that I will be married to my husband for all of eternity.  And my children will be mine for all of eternity.  I know that in the next life, everyone receives that which they care most about.  My husband wants a mansion in Heaven.  I just want a cottage in a clearing in the woods with a large garden that never gets weeds -- where it is very quiet when I need it to be quiet, and where the animals are loud and noisy when I need the distraction.  And where there is a path to the city, if I ever want to leave and enjoy the theatre.  And at night, it is so clear that I can see millions and millions of stars.  And any service God needs me to do will be done via computer, unless its for children -- then I will show up in person, "with bells on".  (Sorry, I digressed for a minute there.)

But this is where I trust in the Lord, and lean not unto my own understanding.  For He knows who I am, and what will make me happy.  He knows the depth of my heart, and breadth of my personality and how little room I have for inadequate previous wives.  And again, tongue-in-cheek, if my husband doesn't meet me in my wooded clearing I'm sure there's a REALLY good back-up plan waiting.

Beggars Can't Be Choosers

I'm a mother of two beautiful, smart, wonderful, caring children.  And we adopted them.  But I want the world to know that I did not "settle" for them.  My children are not some kind of door prize given to those sad souls who can't conceive children on their own.  My children are the once-in-a-lifetime, Publisher's Clearing House, win the BIG lotto type of prize.  They are the Golden Ticket -- and I got two of them.

I have read articles, comments on articles, and talked to people (even former family) who have the attitude that since adoptive parents can't conceive on their own, they should accept whatever child is offered to them.  They cite the thousands of older children above the age of 5 yrs old who are still in foster care because they are considered "un-adoptable".  They cite the thousands of special needs kids in America who need loving homes.  Basically, I have often heard one of two things: 1) "beggars can't be choosers" or 2) you need to be more lovingly, like Mother Theresa.

I have spent some time with older foster kids, and they are wonderful.  I love them dearly.  I am privileged to know them.  Every day, they and they're families fight to overcome the craziness of their early childhood years.  To stabilize, to love, and to nurture.

But let me clarify a few things.  Some of these kids are still in foster status because our system is trying very hard to give their bio-parents every opportunity to re-unite their families.  Many of the children aren't available for adoption, because bio-parents keep taking two steps forward and one step back.  Kids go home to live with bio-parents for 6 months, things fall apart again, and the kids are back in the system.  Basically, they are unavailable for adoption, not "un-adoptable".

Additionally, social workers are trying very hard to put kids in homes where the placement will work "for good".  They try very hard to match personalities, race, culture, etc.  They try very hard to blend this new family just right and still fit within all the state-mandated requirements on number of children in the home, boys in one room and girls in another, and age separation between child and parents.  I don't always agree with the decisions, but I'm glad I'm not a social worker.

My goal in adopting children wasn't to relieve societal or family pressure on myself.  It wasn't to feel fulfilled as a woman.  It was simply to be a "mom".  My dream was to watch that toddler start to express themselves and get to know everything that was happening in that little brain.  My dream was to hold a tiny baby and watch that tiny baby take everything I had or had not provided or taught and turn into a wonderful adult.

I read all those questionnaires from the agencies, and did countless hours of soul-searching with my spouse on what we wanted in our future family, and we answered those very seriously.  No one teaches you how to "be flexible" without twisting your spouse's arm.  Those probably had to be some of the most difficult conversations of our marriage.  Knowing that every "No" meant less opportunity to adopt, but still trying to respect the other's opinions and feelings.  And no, in the end, we did not ask for perfection.

As adults, we realize that sometimes we have to "settle".  We trade old dreams for new ones.  We sacrifice something we once thought we wanted, for something we want more now.  Sometimes, we have remorse.  We call it "settling".  Other times, we realize that we have grown and our dreams have changed, and we are at peace with those decisions.

My dream was to have brand new, completely healthy babies ... and know that someday, when they hate me or when I'm totally aggravated by their decisions --- that all of it, EVERY SINGLE NURTURING INFLUENCE OR LACK THEREOF, was completely my fault.  That's crazy, yes, but I wasn't settling on this.  

And I am NOT Mother Theresa.  My children are not "lucky to have me".  Heck, they will be lucky to survive me.  I'm not a "tiger mom", but pretty close  -- I constantly fight my hovering instinct.  I am lucky to know my children.  They are beautiful people.  They have saved my life in ways no one will ever understand.  They help me laugh when I forget to, they motivate me to be a better person, and they remind me that there is more to life than just work.