The Real World

The world, doctors, scientists, etc. criticize parents for letting their kids watch too much TV.  Well, tonight I paused the TV to coordinate 4th of July plans via Facebook with a friend who's phone has been stolen and via cell phone with my husband.  In the meantime, I directed my children (now 6.5 and 3 yrs. old) to get their pajamas on and brush their teeth.  Obviously, they don't have my full attention, but this is reality folks.  Mom is often trying to do three things at once.

Here's what happens when you turn off the TV for 30 minutes:

1. one child argues that they don't want to brush their teeth
2. another child refuses to close the curtain on the front window while you sit in your pajamas
3. Mom yells at the top of her lungs because she is trying to accomplish three things at once and neither child is listening -- and should be quite capable of completing the tasks as requested before the 2nd Coming
4. rough housing causes the female child to break the male child's plastic sunglasses, causing tears in both parties
5. he tells her she is never going to get any new sunglasses ever again as punishment, causing tears in the female child
6. rough housing causes her to hit her head on the wall, again causing tears
7. hugs all around
8. Mom finishes "coordinating" between the two men on phone & Facebook
9. he brings his Leapster into the bathroom "paused" so he can brush his teeth, Mom moves it out and reminds them electronics and water don't mix -- and there is a strict "no non-bath toys" in the bathroom policy
10. female child is SHOWN how to squeeze toothpaste from the tube after claiming she can't do it
11. female child walks by said Leapster and turns it off, causing tears in male child
12. female child after apologizing, then decides to hop like a bunny while squeezing between the door and the male child, ends up hitting the male child on the chin with her hard head, causing tears in BOTH parties, and a bloody nose in the male child
13. hugs all around
14. teeth somehow get brushed
15. both children disappear while Mom cleans toothpaste off the sink (husband has complained abt said issue recently), and suddenly there's crying heard from the other room
16. post-interrogation reports indicate male child hit female child, but only after she poked him in the eye
17. Mom lectures male child on not hitting, lectures female child about LEAVING HER BROTHER ALONE after multiple incidents this evening
18. Bedtime prayers are skipped, Mom considers this a "risk reduction decision"
19. after Mom told him to put the Leapster away & there were more tears, she concedes to let him play Leapster in his bed for 10 minutes, because she's had it for one day
20. one bed gets made
21. She's in bed
22. Timer goes off, Mom retrieves Leapster
23. Goodnight

PLEASE, OH PLEASE, I hope the TV never breaks!  Counter to public opinion we have conclusive evidence that it is to the benefit and welfare of the children if they are parked in front of the TV, mesmerized, not moving.  IT IS SIMPLY SAFER FOR EVERYONE.  ;)

P.S. Husband comes home and claims this only happens when he leaves the house.

He Goes To Kindergarten

"The baby grew. He grew and he grew and he grew. He grew until he was...." almost five years old. And he begged his mom to wear his church shoes to his first day of Kindergarten because he wanted to "be fancy". And he stood there in long pants of dark blue corduroy, a white polo already bearing the mark of a morning's granola bar, gray dress socks, and black leather shoes waiting just long enough to tolerate pictures with his mother's cell phone. And it was all she could do to hold it together in a maze of parents and excited children, even though she wanted to scream from the rooftops, "This is my son. My baby. He is special because I say so. And listen up world... you will not harm him, and you will be kind to him!" Then in a flash, that boy, ran off toward a table of Lego’s, and never looked back. (And the subtle humor of that moment was not lost on his engineer-mother, for she saw herself in him.)

And even though this was not the first morning she had said good-bye to him, it was a significant morning. The baby she had waited for, fought for, and prayed for, who had miraculously appeared via a phone call on an average Monday (literally by special delivery from God, Himself) ... who had turned her life, her house, and her heart upside down ... was no longer a dream. He was hers. He was a boy who would someday be a young man, who would someday leave her. And she would have to trust him to the world and to the Lord. Trust him to be safe and good and kind and righteous ... trust him to be whom she saw that very first day she held him in her arms.

And when that almost five year old was safely at school, she opened the door to her car, sat down, and she cried. She cried and she cried and she cried. And somewhere, she found the strength to let him grow.

(The quote and inspiration are from Love You Forever written by Robert Munsch with illustrations by Sheila McGraw.)

Preschool Homework

My 4-year-old has to write his name 7 times on lined paper.  7 times.  He's now been sitting here an hour and has written his first name four times and his last name 3 times.  An hour!  He's completely missed the TV show I tried to bribe him with.

He then proceeds to tell me how his pencil doesn't work -- by doodling with his sharp pencil, how he hates school, and how he doesn't want to do homework all day.  (WELL, it wouldn't be ALL day, if you'd finish!!!)

I hope he speeds it up before we send him to college ..... (sigh)

Good Eyes

The State of California requires me to put my child in a safety seat when in a motor vehicle until they are 6 years old and 60 pounds.  The State also requires that I put my child in a safety helmet until they are 18, if they are riding a bike.  As an adoptive parent, I am required to have First Aid and CPR training for adults, children, and infants (CPR needs to be renewed every year, First Aid every 3 years).  Also as an adoptive parent, I am also required to have 8 hours of parenting courses each year.

As a parent who occasionally watches the news and has some common sense, I close the gates in the front yard to slow down adults who want to enter and prevent (slow down) my child entering the street.  I sit and feed the baby where I can hear and see my older child.  I've taught my child a few safety tricks.

None of this --- State law, parenting classes, CPR courses, or common sense --- replace parental instinct and a good set of eyes and ears.  And being a genetically-related parent or not, has no connection whatsoever to parental instinct.

In the last couple of weeks, I have looked up from watching the road in front of me into the rear-view mirror, and noticed two arms that are a little more free than they should be.  And told someone under no uncertain terms that they were to put their seatbelt back on.  And kept yelling until he did, because there was nowhere safe to pull over.

And yes, after I put the safety helmet and elbow guards on the child, closed the gates, and sat within hearing/seeing distance as he rode his bike ... I looked up and realized that the helmet-and-pad-wearing-child was scaling the front gate and swinging a leg over.  At which point, he was told that if he ever wanted to see that bike again, he would get down and stay off of the front wall and gate!

Laws only make it easier to prosecute parents for not doing what they should have naturally/instinctively done anyway.  But laws don't replace a good set of eyes and ears ... eyes that catch a glimpse of something not right and ears that know when its too quiet.

Conversations with a 4-year-old

Today the conversation in the car with my 4 year old son, went something like this:
Son: "What do ladybugs eat?'
Mom: "I don't know (pause) ... oh wait, aphids.  (What can I say!  Mom's tired.) Ladybugs eat aphids, that's why we put them in the garden.  We put ladybugs in the garden to eat the aphids, so the aphids don't eat the flowers."
Son: "When ladybugs are yellow, then they turn red and we can touch them, and put them on our finger?"
Mom: "Yep."  (I'm guessing, I don't know about the yellow ladybug part.)
Son: "Then they can climb our arm."
Mom: "Yep."
Son: (something about butterflies)
Mom: "Do you know that some butterflies eat meat?" (avoiding the explanation about what carrion is)
Son: "HUH!" (surprised) "What do the ones that eat meat look like?"
Mom: "I don't know."
(pause)
Mom: "Can Mommy sing her song now on the radio?  Its one of my favorites."
Son: "No.  I want to talk about something you want to talk about."
Mom: (thinking ... okay, how about you getting dressed in the morning without an argument.... but before I can get the words out...)
Son: "Aphids ....(something)".
Mom: "Do you know that worms eat dirt and poop it out?  They are good for our garden."
Son: "Gross...."

Yesterday the conversation in the car with my son, was:

Son: "Why does God give us real food?" "Why does God give us real food and fake food?"

Mom: "Well, our bodies need real food to live."

Son: "And fake food?"

Mom: "So, we have toys to play with."

(pause)

Son: "Mom, does Heavenly Father need the sun?"

Mom: "Uh... well, He likes the sun.  He made it for us, because we need it.  Not sure if he needs it."

Son: "Does Jesus?"

Mom: "He likes it, too.  Still not sure He needs it."

Son: "Well I don't!!! (as he shields his eyes from the morning sun)

Mom: (Ah!  Now I know where this is coming from!)

Son: "I want it to be dark all the time!"

Mom: "But if its dark all the time, we can't go outside and play."

Son: "Yes we can, if Jesus says so."

Mom: "What about if Mom and Dad say, 'No'?"

Son: "We can if Jesus says so."

This is the part/age that I've always looked forward to.  The part where he is thinking and speaking, and I get to hear what he's thinking.  I don't know how long this period will last --- how long before he decides his mother isn't worth the effort to communicate with, but I love it for as long as it lasts.  Random, creative, curious, and innocent.  And sweet.  Conversations with a 4-year-old.