Househusband vs. Housewife

I'd like to celebrate some differences that I have come to love and cherish over the last eight years of marriage.  Differences which I also acknowledge change frequently.

Moving in ... she worries about cleaning out the old dirt left by the previous owners, he worries about changing the locks left by the previous owners.

Cooking dinner ... she worries about whether there are enough fruits & veggies, he worries about whether there is enough meat and if there is bread with the rice dish.

He replaces faucets on a free Saturday.  She displaces cobwebs.

He thinks about mowing "the back 40", she thinks about turning over the garden.

Experimenting in the kitchen ... she cooks vegetarian shepherd's pie, he cooks brussels sprouts.

He makes sure she occasionally receives flowers from him.  She cuts the flowers, fills a vase with water, and puts the flowers on the table.  Then he runs the garbage disposal after she cuts the flowers.  She never will remember, no matter how many times he reminds her.

She makes salad, he runs the garbage disposal.  She cuts apples, he runs the garbage disposal.

She keeps her hair long, he occasionally calls the plumber to clean the shower drain.

He stays home for dinner, she buys Beano for him.

She runs out of hair conditioner, he loses his conditioner to her bathroom.

He replaces the door, and calls the job done.  She worries about the paint and trim.

She cleans out the lint trap, but doesn't replace it.  He envisions dismantling an entire dryer.  She imagines no laundry for a week.  She walks out in the yard, and finds the troublesome socks and dryer sheet.  Marital bliss is restored.

She thinks about a late night blizzard from Dairy Queen, decides he is tired, so she doesn't call -- saving him a few minutes on his drive home.  He's driving home, and thinks about Dairy Queen as well.  Knows his wife would be happy, but he convinces himself out of it.
Eight years -- and we're ALMOST getting the telepathic ice cream request figured out!!!

Working on it.

I did better this week at a few things, and could have done better at others.

+1 +2) I was embarrassed by someone, and then angry at them.  I refrained from writing them a scathing e-mail.  (I initially marked this as a plus one, but I'm giving myself a 2.)
-1) I complained about a situation at work and worried about it without trying to solve it, initially.
+1) After watching a peer take leadership to solve the problem, work it, and move forward, it reminded me to do the same, and I think I did so.  I now consider him a mentor.
+3) I got off my "kiester" and packed up the Christmas decorations (which have been partially down for weeks) and put them up in the garage.  Got down the Valentine'sDay/St.Patrick'sDay/Easter box.  Put away the baby swing, and got down the ExerSaucer.  And swept up the broken glass in the garage.  (Many thanks to my husband for his help.  Its much easier when one adult is on the ladder, and the other is on the ground handing stuff up.)
-1) Could have been a better Mom.  Won't get specific, but I was okay this week, not outstanding.  I know I have it in me to do better.
+1) Put together the ExerSaucer.
+1) Bought some food storage, and put it away. (Tuna fish, chili, and soups.)
+1) Did an art project with my son.
-2) Didn't do a couple things I need to do for Primary (my church responsibilities).

Like I said, I'm working on it.  I have a positive total, but it doesn't matter.  The things I didn't do so well on are just as important to me as what I did better on this week.  BUT, I'm working on it.

Good Eyes

The State of California requires me to put my child in a safety seat when in a motor vehicle until they are 6 years old and 60 pounds.  The State also requires that I put my child in a safety helmet until they are 18, if they are riding a bike.  As an adoptive parent, I am required to have First Aid and CPR training for adults, children, and infants (CPR needs to be renewed every year, First Aid every 3 years).  Also as an adoptive parent, I am also required to have 8 hours of parenting courses each year.

As a parent who occasionally watches the news and has some common sense, I close the gates in the front yard to slow down adults who want to enter and prevent (slow down) my child entering the street.  I sit and feed the baby where I can hear and see my older child.  I've taught my child a few safety tricks.

None of this --- State law, parenting classes, CPR courses, or common sense --- replace parental instinct and a good set of eyes and ears.  And being a genetically-related parent or not, has no connection whatsoever to parental instinct.

In the last couple of weeks, I have looked up from watching the road in front of me into the rear-view mirror, and noticed two arms that are a little more free than they should be.  And told someone under no uncertain terms that they were to put their seatbelt back on.  And kept yelling until he did, because there was nowhere safe to pull over.

And yes, after I put the safety helmet and elbow guards on the child, closed the gates, and sat within hearing/seeing distance as he rode his bike ... I looked up and realized that the helmet-and-pad-wearing-child was scaling the front gate and swinging a leg over.  At which point, he was told that if he ever wanted to see that bike again, he would get down and stay off of the front wall and gate!

Laws only make it easier to prosecute parents for not doing what they should have naturally/instinctively done anyway.  But laws don't replace a good set of eyes and ears ... eyes that catch a glimpse of something not right and ears that know when its too quiet.

Conversations with a 4-year-old

Today the conversation in the car with my 4 year old son, went something like this:
Son: "What do ladybugs eat?'
Mom: "I don't know (pause) ... oh wait, aphids.  (What can I say!  Mom's tired.) Ladybugs eat aphids, that's why we put them in the garden.  We put ladybugs in the garden to eat the aphids, so the aphids don't eat the flowers."
Son: "When ladybugs are yellow, then they turn red and we can touch them, and put them on our finger?"
Mom: "Yep."  (I'm guessing, I don't know about the yellow ladybug part.)
Son: "Then they can climb our arm."
Mom: "Yep."
Son: (something about butterflies)
Mom: "Do you know that some butterflies eat meat?" (avoiding the explanation about what carrion is)
Son: "HUH!" (surprised) "What do the ones that eat meat look like?"
Mom: "I don't know."
(pause)
Mom: "Can Mommy sing her song now on the radio?  Its one of my favorites."
Son: "No.  I want to talk about something you want to talk about."
Mom: (thinking ... okay, how about you getting dressed in the morning without an argument.... but before I can get the words out...)
Son: "Aphids ....(something)".
Mom: "Do you know that worms eat dirt and poop it out?  They are good for our garden."
Son: "Gross...."

Yesterday the conversation in the car with my son, was:

Son: "Why does God give us real food?" "Why does God give us real food and fake food?"

Mom: "Well, our bodies need real food to live."

Son: "And fake food?"

Mom: "So, we have toys to play with."

(pause)

Son: "Mom, does Heavenly Father need the sun?"

Mom: "Uh... well, He likes the sun.  He made it for us, because we need it.  Not sure if he needs it."

Son: "Does Jesus?"

Mom: "He likes it, too.  Still not sure He needs it."

Son: "Well I don't!!! (as he shields his eyes from the morning sun)

Mom: (Ah!  Now I know where this is coming from!)

Son: "I want it to be dark all the time!"

Mom: "But if its dark all the time, we can't go outside and play."

Son: "Yes we can, if Jesus says so."

Mom: "What about if Mom and Dad say, 'No'?"

Son: "We can if Jesus says so."

This is the part/age that I've always looked forward to.  The part where he is thinking and speaking, and I get to hear what he's thinking.  I don't know how long this period will last --- how long before he decides his mother isn't worth the effort to communicate with, but I love it for as long as it lasts.  Random, creative, curious, and innocent.  And sweet.  Conversations with a 4-year-old.